3. [L.M.S]
....LOST MALE
SYNDROME:-
"Men know they are sexual exiles.
They wander the Earth seeking satisfaction;
craving, and despising, never content.
There is nothing in that for women to envy."
-Camille Paglia, U.S. academic, 1990
'Woman I'm troubled;
I be worried in mind;
Well baby I never be satisfied;
And I just keep from cryin....'
Muddy Waters [I can't be satisfied] 1948
The trouble with that quote by Camille Paglia, above, is that
men DON'T know they are 'satisfaction exiles.'
And for those that do know--mainly women--none it seems are
willing to tell them. Why is that?
Well if that one gets out it could reveal the fact that women
may have the biggest privilege of all. Peace on Earth.
The premise behind this chapter is that there is no real peace and
satisfaction in a male's life....at least not for a long, long time until the
male is finally a wise, but tired old man. Which is great but at that
stage its game over, isn't it? In the meantime the male's got about
40 years to get through, two generations where life is just a series of
expensive short term thrills and comfort zones when he's young, and
then just comfort zones from middle age until old age. In between
is usually hard work, which is really necessary for the male's sanity
because the comfort wouldn't be relative unless it was attached to
the suffering (i.e hard work) beforehand.
Now the begging question is why can't these males find peace and
satisfaction? And is it true? And if its true what's the problem?
I present for inspection L.M.S. (Lost Male Syndrome)
LMS is a mental malady that I think affects most males. The term LMS is one that I have invented. There is no formal medical term known as LMS. Also this psychological condition, that I'm attempting to describe in this chapter, is not a proxy for Depression.
LMS is not a form of clinical depression because LMS can create a strong form of energy in males. Classic clinical depression nullifies energy. LMS is something I describe as a 'reverse depression' that can generate strong 'negative energy.". Affected males don't recognise it in themselves. They think they're just naturally curious or inventive. Or they pass it off as "ambition". A positive thing. Unaffected males witnessing affected males think along the same way. They all put it down to the man's adventurous spirit. However these adventures are not for the benefit of mankind or their families. Theirs is a dream but its not about enjoying the process. Its about "achieving" the end goal which they desperately hope will bring a form of "relief" that they crave. Most of it is connected to their ego . Secondly LMS is not an action by a male trying to prove he's a man. Its not a self imposed initiation of daring or accomplishment to justify in the male's mind that he is now man enough to claim a woman for sex or breeding. LMS is a condition that besets many males long after the said Pussy has already been "achieved."
LMS is recognised in males who theoretically should have it all. A good job, a healthy family, and a future that is financially secure. LMS makes the male take it all for granted. Males don't appreciate how fragile life can really be and that being a father, and financially secure, with a healthy family should be thanks enough, a worthy enough achievement. However it's not good enough for our LMS male. He senses that something is missing. He wants more but he's not really sure of specifically what. Like a drug addict that needs a fix, something foreign and/or chemical is affecting his perceptions and information processing. I use the term "foreign" which is not entirely correct because its innate and therefore natural in so many males. However I legitimise it as a "foreign" phenomenon in the sense that its "anti-social", despite its prevalence. The LMS male has a void or hole in his psyche, like a persistent ache, that wants to be filled, like the drug addict. So the male focuses on the pain problem, which dominates his perceptions. He keeps gazing into the abyss. The pain requires a remedy and his mind is continually looping through the options. Sooner or later something stands out thats worth giving a try. Enter the hare-brained scheme. They declare they need to complete this new dreamed up undertaking..."for the challenge". Have you recognised any males like this?
Here's a classic example. A male in his mid 30s. Let's say he has a medium level qualification as an accountant. He has been married for 12 years and has two young children, 11 and 9. The children are normal healthy school kids. The children have healthy grandparents and there is an extensive family network of aunts, uncles and cousins as well. The wife works part time as a nursing aid in an aged care facility, but is home during the week when the children return from school. The family house is about two-thirds along from being paid off and the couple have invested in a small block of apartments which they borrowed for, along with some money provided by their parents. The male has a good superannuation plan in place. The couple are also trying for one last baby because the wife is only 32.
This male has everything really. A good house, healthy family. A sound future. And he was born into a comfortable poverty free and war free Western country, like Australia. Still he's not happy.
Something's missing and he doesn't really know what. He wants to achieve something he considers "big". It's not enough for him to have fathered two children (with a third in the pipeline), to have entertained and taught those children many things. It's not enough to have successfully managed a small supermarket chain for his owner/employers and have almost paid off his own house and invested in a block of flats, For him the work has become somewhat dull. Not enough of a challenge he decides. In fact he keeps getting ideas to do things and when his friends ask why he usually says: "for the challenge". In the previous 12 months he started getting up earlier each morning to go running. His aim was to compete in that annual 'surf to city' marathon. Again "for the challenge." Now he's got another idea swirling in his head, though he hasn't told his wife yet. No this idea is a big one. It's going to cost about $80,000, which the male reasons he can pay by re-financing the house. He would give himself a timeline of say 2 years. To plan and get fit. He gets out a book and starts writing down "goals" and "target dates". Already he's feeling better.
Our LMS male has decided he's going to climb Mt EVEREST.
They wander the Earth seeking satisfaction;
craving, and despising, never content.
There is nothing in that for women to envy."
-Camille Paglia, U.S. academic, 1990
'Woman I'm troubled;
I be worried in mind;
Well baby I never be satisfied;
And I just keep from cryin....'
Muddy Waters [I can't be satisfied] 1948
The trouble with that quote by Camille Paglia, above, is that
men DON'T know they are 'satisfaction exiles.'
And for those that do know--mainly women--none it seems are
willing to tell them. Why is that?
Well if that one gets out it could reveal the fact that women
may have the biggest privilege of all. Peace on Earth.
The premise behind this chapter is that there is no real peace and
satisfaction in a male's life....at least not for a long, long time until the
male is finally a wise, but tired old man. Which is great but at that
stage its game over, isn't it? In the meantime the male's got about
40 years to get through, two generations where life is just a series of
expensive short term thrills and comfort zones when he's young, and
then just comfort zones from middle age until old age. In between
is usually hard work, which is really necessary for the male's sanity
because the comfort wouldn't be relative unless it was attached to
the suffering (i.e hard work) beforehand.
Now the begging question is why can't these males find peace and
satisfaction? And is it true? And if its true what's the problem?
I present for inspection L.M.S. (Lost Male Syndrome)
LMS is a mental malady that I think affects most males. The term LMS is one that I have invented. There is no formal medical term known as LMS. Also this psychological condition, that I'm attempting to describe in this chapter, is not a proxy for Depression.
LMS is not a form of clinical depression because LMS can create a strong form of energy in males. Classic clinical depression nullifies energy. LMS is something I describe as a 'reverse depression' that can generate strong 'negative energy.". Affected males don't recognise it in themselves. They think they're just naturally curious or inventive. Or they pass it off as "ambition". A positive thing. Unaffected males witnessing affected males think along the same way. They all put it down to the man's adventurous spirit. However these adventures are not for the benefit of mankind or their families. Theirs is a dream but its not about enjoying the process. Its about "achieving" the end goal which they desperately hope will bring a form of "relief" that they crave. Most of it is connected to their ego . Secondly LMS is not an action by a male trying to prove he's a man. Its not a self imposed initiation of daring or accomplishment to justify in the male's mind that he is now man enough to claim a woman for sex or breeding. LMS is a condition that besets many males long after the said Pussy has already been "achieved."
LMS is recognised in males who theoretically should have it all. A good job, a healthy family, and a future that is financially secure. LMS makes the male take it all for granted. Males don't appreciate how fragile life can really be and that being a father, and financially secure, with a healthy family should be thanks enough, a worthy enough achievement. However it's not good enough for our LMS male. He senses that something is missing. He wants more but he's not really sure of specifically what. Like a drug addict that needs a fix, something foreign and/or chemical is affecting his perceptions and information processing. I use the term "foreign" which is not entirely correct because its innate and therefore natural in so many males. However I legitimise it as a "foreign" phenomenon in the sense that its "anti-social", despite its prevalence. The LMS male has a void or hole in his psyche, like a persistent ache, that wants to be filled, like the drug addict. So the male focuses on the pain problem, which dominates his perceptions. He keeps gazing into the abyss. The pain requires a remedy and his mind is continually looping through the options. Sooner or later something stands out thats worth giving a try. Enter the hare-brained scheme. They declare they need to complete this new dreamed up undertaking..."for the challenge". Have you recognised any males like this?
Here's a classic example. A male in his mid 30s. Let's say he has a medium level qualification as an accountant. He has been married for 12 years and has two young children, 11 and 9. The children are normal healthy school kids. The children have healthy grandparents and there is an extensive family network of aunts, uncles and cousins as well. The wife works part time as a nursing aid in an aged care facility, but is home during the week when the children return from school. The family house is about two-thirds along from being paid off and the couple have invested in a small block of apartments which they borrowed for, along with some money provided by their parents. The male has a good superannuation plan in place. The couple are also trying for one last baby because the wife is only 32.
This male has everything really. A good house, healthy family. A sound future. And he was born into a comfortable poverty free and war free Western country, like Australia. Still he's not happy.
Something's missing and he doesn't really know what. He wants to achieve something he considers "big". It's not enough for him to have fathered two children (with a third in the pipeline), to have entertained and taught those children many things. It's not enough to have successfully managed a small supermarket chain for his owner/employers and have almost paid off his own house and invested in a block of flats, For him the work has become somewhat dull. Not enough of a challenge he decides. In fact he keeps getting ideas to do things and when his friends ask why he usually says: "for the challenge". In the previous 12 months he started getting up earlier each morning to go running. His aim was to compete in that annual 'surf to city' marathon. Again "for the challenge." Now he's got another idea swirling in his head, though he hasn't told his wife yet. No this idea is a big one. It's going to cost about $80,000, which the male reasons he can pay by re-financing the house. He would give himself a timeline of say 2 years. To plan and get fit. He gets out a book and starts writing down "goals" and "target dates". Already he's feeling better.
Our LMS male has decided he's going to climb Mt EVEREST.
DON QUIXOTE: The dreamer and LMS male Alonso Quijano reads so many chivalric novels he goes "mad" and decides to set out to seriously revive chivalry with a weak skinny horse and a slow witted sidekick. And of course Alonso was way over the hill (aged about 50). He also renamed himself the exotic sounding "Don Quixote" to satisfy his ego. He was partly humored as the fool he was but underwent some comic but humiliating and painful 'defeats.' ---(book by Miguel de Cervantes, 1605)
Do you recognise the LMS male? One that's out there doggedly but quite selfishly trying to pursue something. Now many might venture to say that these males are in fact noble. Trying to achieve something. Well I argue that they're not really trying to achieve anything apart from finding a panacea for their pain, filling the big void. These ambitions are not really noble, unless you think a drug addict's ambitions to source relief are similarly noble. I mentioned before that LMS was different from classic depression because it demands an energy output from its sufferers. However the energy output just ends up as one monumental distraction, which sadly is probably what the male needs because the emptiness is starting to bore his brains out. In our example the nuclear male is planning on a tilt at Mt Everest, setting a time line of a couple of years which is also quite handy because it gives him something to dream about. Helps keep the void at bay.
Now many males reading this will think to themselves: "Well at least he climbed Mt Everest. That's more than most of us will ever do. Credit to him."
However realistically, so what. He's not going to change the World, himself or add any material improvements for his family. The view at the top is nice, but so is the view from a skyscraper, or a jet aeroplane, or that natural panorama down at the local lake, only two hours drive away. And secondly does this male really think he's achieved more than, say, an unheralded mother who has brought up six children on her own for the past 20 years? Wouldn't that be a kind of Mt Everest too? Her work and achievement is of more value to Society than the male's selfish solo climb up Mt Everest.. But that still won't convince the males. Look at the selfishness of this male. How many have wasted time and money setting on a reckless dream? Our nuclear male could have diverted his energy more productively, sitting with his children and practicing something worthwhile like schoolwork, reading or music. Perhaps time could have been given to a local community group instead; having a real effect on his world. Money put aside for the Mt Everest attempt could have been used for the entire family to travel overseas on a holiday. The other daunting feature of Holy Grail adventures is that just like a drug, the satisfaction effects wear off. The goal itself becomes an anti-climax. Then the male is back to square one. He needs another goal. Some of them will then dream up another hare brained scheme. He is lost.
LSM (Lost Male Syndrome) and Sex-Hunt Addiction (more later) are the big demons that need a big solution. That's why lone male adventure stories of heading out into the massive wilderness, or the massive seas attracts males. They imagine it can convert them into something better. The missing answer. That somehow engaging with the bigness of nature will create a new bigness of character in themselves. And upon attaining this new Holy character, through a form of suffering, that they'll gain the lifelong peace and satisfaction they're searching for, or at least cover up enough of the hole. Well I'd suggest you don't have to go deep into the Yukon to find this out. Just sit around a hospital cafeteria for a couple of quiet hours. Have a good look. A popular story that attracted the imagination of idle intelligent males in the 1950s/60s was a book called On the Road. It was a story about two young males in the late 1940s on a road trip across America. A modern day form of engaging the concrete and bitumen wilderness of the road. They made a couple of trips but it didn't change anything for our searching 'heroes'. And what were they looking for? Well according to the author Jack Kerouac, interviewed years later, they were subconsciously looking for God, though that wasn't mentioned by the characters in the book. The characters in fact were Kerouac himself and his best friend at the time. They didn't find God. Both pursued a drug-type hedonistic lifestyle after their road trip, and died young. Kerouac's friend at 41 (LSD and alcohol) and Kerouac himself at 47, an alcoholic's death, liver cirrhosis.
Although Kerouac was unsuccessful in his quest to find God I think he was onto something.
Jesus tells the males that they have to recognise, ask and be virtually rescued by the Holy Spirit. This would fill the emptiness. He refers to it as the Living Waters. He refers to it as having to be Born Again. Some Christian scholars link the notion that to not find God, and to be left searching and living a life of hollow short term thrills, chasing Dreams for relief, is like a living Hell. An Eternal Torment.
Trouble with finding God is that its not that easy. It's not like being able to test drive a car to see whether it works. Yes, you may finally find God and have your peace, but you might be in jail or in a wheelchair as well (more later).
LMS shows up early in most males' lives. Many never outgrow it. Lost from an early age. It starts with the juvenile male realising his own impotence, powerlessness and confusion in the grand scheme of things. Psychologically it is painful and frustrating. The juvenile male searches for a relief and antidote to this psychological stress. He imagines that an antidote for this pain would be an infusion of accolades and success. Such a sensation would be even better if it were coupled with another sensation he also secretly yearns for. Revenge. He would like to revenge himself against probably stronger males that have indirectly intimidated him or directly humiliated him. To conquer this early onset of juvenile LMS, the young male dreams of accolades, revenge and a windfall of money heaped upon him for this success. The juvenile male dreams of being a HERO.
Platforms have even been designed to play out these juvenile fantasies into adulthood. The sports arena. Sport manufactures the Hero in real, current time, so to speak. The sporting conflict is a 'save the world' drama miniaturised into a conflict between groups (teams), or individuals usually using bouncing balls. This should be recognised as slightly bizarre because the juvenile male is unable to fulfill his own Hero dreams in real life yet he persists in keeping this mental illness alive. He adopts other 'stronger' individuals or a team of stronger individuals as a proxy for himself. Therefore if those foreign individuals actually 'win" the contest in the sports arena then our LMS male assumes for himself a 'win' as well. Yet he's won nothing. Its the foreign players who 'win' and get the crowd's accolades and the money. The LMS male has actually lost money by paying to watch the spectacle. Instead of being recognised as a massive form of male insecurity psychosis its considered 'normal', a harmless "fantasy." In previous generations, before mass media, little boys would dream of being dragon slayers like St.George or being a military Hero. They would dream of being a distinguished officer in a colorful shiny uniform, probably with a sword at the side and riding a high horse. The military officer's uniform was not really a military uniform in the daydreaming boys LMS mind. IT was really a Superman costume missing the cape. They would dream of returning home a conquering hero in battle, winning the "war" single handedly and as a just reward being offered the King's beautiful daughter to have sex with (i.e marry) and a large castle to own and live in. The little boy wasn't satisfied with a real military image--an anonymous low paid honorable soldier trying to keep tyranny away, and his family safe, wearing a drab uniform with no 'medals' -- such a humble image would not qualify in his imagination to ameliorate the LMS; to sate his need for potency and 'the answer.'
Three forms of adult LMS that I've observed:
1. The family man who externalises the LMS and comes up with basically a hare-brained scheme. He's still not at peace with the world, or satisfied and wants to achieve something "big"...."for the challenge". This male externalises this energy away from his family....to fill the void.
2. The family man who internalises the LMS and destroys the family. The problem he decides resides in the relationship with his wife. He thinks he needs some fresh new pussy, probably a new wife. This LMS male doesn't want to achieve something big he reasons he needs to..."be free again"....to fill the void.
Internal LMS is usually linked to sex addiction (more later)
3. The Danger LMS. This is the one where the males convert their action into violence. As I've alluded to earlier in this chapter our archetype male wants to achieve something "big" but he doesn't know what and hits on the idea of climbing Mt Everest. Luckily most males in this position will come up with some dream to pursue, which keeps their minds occupied. However in life to achieve anything big takes time and work; sometimes years to complete. For example how long would it take to build by hand a house or a yacht? That's a big project. Now how long would it take to destroy that same yacht or house by setting it on fire? A couple of hours? For some males who have LMS they can derive satisfaction from destroying "big" things instead of creating them. And its a lot faster to achieve than trying to create something :big." A quick power fix but in a reverse way. They still get to feel their sense of accomplishment, albeit perverted. Look up the histories of some of the famous assassins and arsonists. A clear example of this I think is the Russian serial killer, Alexander Pichushkin, who was only 33 when he was finally captured. Over a 13 year period he killed at least 49 people (i.e the ones identified). He told investigators that he felt "almost like God", obviously a sense of achievement, and that "life without killing is like life without food for you."
LMS can be exploited
At a harmless level it is used by the strong to create rigged games of sport that only the strong can realistically 'win'. The weaker LMS males pay the stronger males for losing when they try and compete, or they pay the stronger males for 'winning' on their behalf when they assume a position as 'spectator' and adopt stronger males as a proxy for themselves (see earlier).
LMS can also be exploited politically.
LMS can be converted by rabble rousers so the ills a male feels are converted into political ills, that he's not "free" and the solution therefore is to achieve freedom by usually attacking this enemy of freedom, usually a foreign country, or religion, or minority ethnic group.
The interesting German social psychologist, Erich Fromm (1900-1980) talked about a similar destructive phenomenon in his classic work 'The Heart of Man' (1964). Though he didn't refer to it as LMS, which is my term. Instead he referred to it as "necrophilia"--a love of death born from an overwhelming fear of life. Out of this fear the males develop an obsessive and compulsive need to control that fear. This fear has nothing to do with being Godless, feeling alone, or under achieving, as I theorize. Instead this fear stems from a rational dysfunction of the brain being able to compartmentalise the complexities and variables of life. The brains of these individuals have been unable to rationalise phenomena that affects them; that fall outside their interpretation boundaries. They cannot tolerate this. They cannot tolerate enigmas, exceptions, chance, doubts or ambiguities. They cannot sit comfortably with "grey zones." Unable to deal with these things sublimely, the only option remaining is a form of brute force. A dictatorship of control. They try and force a change where one size fits all. This line departs from my argument, but I thought I'd include it as a radical alternative.
LMS STRATEGIES:
ANTIDOTES
1. Motherhood
2. The Holy Spirit
3. Alpha talent
SYMPTOM RELIEF
4. Alternating suffering and comfort zones
5. An addiction substitute
COPING STRATEGIES
6. Addiction counselling
7. 'Tying yourself to the mast'--
a survival strategy developed
by Homer (850BC)
1. Motherhood
I discuss this more in the chapter (Utility of Motherhood), however briefly I'll mention here that Motherhood can rescue humans from LMS. I believe its the highest feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction that God gives any individual on Earth. God depends on the mothers to give birth, and to protect and provide for the future (i.e the children) which for many years remains undeveloped, weak and vulnerable. It makes sense to ensure that the mothers remain perfectly happy and content in doing this valuable work. The Mothers can't be tormented like the males. Which of course is great for the Mothers. However Motherhood, as you'd be well aware, is only available for the females. Yes Fatherhood has its satisfactions and compensations but its not in the same league as Motherhood. So the males can forget about trying to tap into that.
2. The Holy Spirit
In this sense I'm referring to an individual sensing and having a direct personal relationship with God. For males I sense this is at the heart of all their LMS. They are Godless and are searching. They don't appreciate this. They instead sense that the big hole in their lives needs a big achievement, either creative or destructive. The author/s of the New Testament recognised this almost 2000 years ago and as a result Christians talk about being rescued by the Holy Spirit, and connecting with God and partaking in a "living water"-- for a thirst that is otherwise never quenched. A relationship with God means a realisation that you're never alone. That this relationship is eternal and equal in whatever form it takes, whether you're born strong or weak. That there are no standards to be seriously achieved or recognised on Earth in Caesar's Government of competition and privilege, tricks and extortion...that money, one way or the other, is really "Heaven sent." Talent is a gift that is born. It is not awarded or worked for. Unless they are purposely man-made (i.e laws) privileges usually stem from a form of inborn Talent.
However a relationship with God is not given out lightly, it seems. Its not like road testing a car to see whether it works. A Road to Damascus epiphany is not a trite thing. "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs...." (Matthew 7:6).
When an individual seeks access to God, it has to be a genuine heartfelt request, usually born of Suffering, and if achieved is played out for the rest of their lives. "Ask and ye shall receive'. This message is spelt out in the Gospels and has been relentlessly hammered into the minds of the church going flock for centuries. Yes, you can ask. But I suspect you have to ask with a broken heart. Even if you're suffering and tormented-- but your heart is not broken--I don't think it will work. And you can't ask for Earthly "success". You're simply asking for a genuine and peaceful relationship with God which could mean that you'll remain completely stone broke. In fact the Gospels even mention a couple of provisos such as there being an "importunity" (Luke 11:8) being experienced/suffered and that the asker is "believing" (Matthew 21;22) . This is what the Christians refer to as being "born again" and receiving the Holy Spirit into their lives.
3. Alpha Talent
There are 2 types of males that I've observed. The Alpha Males, and Drone Males. The scenario is like an opposite of the honey bee hive where everything emanates off the Queen Bee. In human society everything emanates off the Alpha Male. He is like the Queen Bee, and quite rare. But also larger than life. Everything discovered or invented of any consequence on Earth, in the arts, sciences, even theology was provided by an Alpha Male.
The Alpha Male
This male is usually like every other male, except they have a "talent" or a gift (a gimmick if you like) in a particular intellectual or physical area that enables them to observe phenomena most of us can't see or realise. Sometimes this talent comes intact with a certain love that enables its recipients to pursue talent-specific activities, without a need for any recognition or money, and to be satisfied. Like a Mother. Sometimes the talents are delivered without this and those males, like so many Drone males, suffer LMS. Alpha Males, just like their Drone brothers also have a Female Perception Disability FPD, and a Sex-Hunt Addiction (more later). Of course there are exceptions and many variants to these broad sweeping generalisations I've given.
The Drone Male
The male is the default common male. He has normal but weakened psychological 'heart' that lends itself to selfishness, insecurity, impatience, and laziness. He is usually a victim of LMS, though there are rare exceptions,. He is also mildly autistic which manifests itself in a perception disability with the opposite sex (next chapter). The Drone Male has no special gifts (i.e 'talents') but has an 'average' intelligence and is still quite capable of being highly functional. He has a sex addiction which is recognised as a normal lustful sex drive (more later). The Drone Male relates to social phenomena simplistically. Things are either black or white. He is an amateurish liar. Lies are usually used on the spot in defence of something. To deny something. The Drone Male is not sophisticated enough, usually, to lie or plan for anything in advance. Of course there a myriad of other variants but this is my Drone Male archetype for the purposes of this book. Most males are Drone Males and they are of great use. For a start they are needed to father the Alphas. They are also needed as fathers for children, particularly their sons. And of course they usually do all the hard shit work in Society...and help support their wives, their children and the lucky rich (more later).
Aggression in males is impossible to explain simplistically...but try this for size. There could be legitimate torment (i.e LMS and Sex-Hunt addiction) or narcissistic greed and insecurity. However the Drone male is more susceptible to aggression because statistically there are more of them than Alpha's. Being without Talent they struggle to "win" or "work" for enough money. And its money thats needed to pay "rents" to the owners for access to resources (shelter and food).
4. Alternating suffering and comfort zones
For the Godless and 'loveless Drone Male (or Alpha) life is really an alternating series of suffering and comfort zones, with a few expensive short term thrills along the way.
This is probably a good example why hard suffering work can have its benefits for the LMS male. His only satisfactions are temporary--i.e addiction relief and a comfort zone. The comfort zone is artificially manufactured as a requisite following a period of suffering (i.e hard work). When the hard work ceases the male is automatically propelled into a comfort zone of relief. Also while a male is young his sex-hunt addiction is strong and can help to keep him somewhat diverted from LMS. During this time he can pursue an expensive short term thrill (i.e Pussy) with the money that he has earned through his suffering. This sort of life is like the circus performer trying to keep the spinning plates going.
5. An addiction substitute
For the males, Pussy is like a drug. However the older one gets the effect of this drug diminishes, which is yet another opportunity for LMS to take hold. Ruthlessly one could consider introducing a stronger drug when the power of the Pussy starts to wane. This sort of artificial distraction could keep the Drone male mind pre-occupied by obtaining the necessary fix, and enjoying the resultant comfort zone. For example some heroin addicts have described the experience as "1000 times better than sex".
The former 1960s pop superstar and secular demi-god of youth/fashion culture, John Lennon, of The Beatles, suffered dramatic LMS. In 1966, two years after they had ' conquered' the world with their music dreams and celebrity, a magazine writer went to interview Lennon at his mansion. She noticed the house with various TVs all going at once, and a slothful Lennon moping about the mansion. It had been several weeks after a tour return. She posed in her article: "Is this the laziest man in England?
Lennon said he had it all. He told the writer that he had his "Hansel and Gretal" mansion and that he was "loaded" (plenty of money). He also had a beautiful young wife (former childhood sweetheart) and a healthy young son. Lennon was only 26 at the time and had all the material wealth and accolades a male could want. He also had years to live. Yet Lennon told the writer that something was still missing. He didn't know what it was, but he knew that "It's not this". And true to his word he ended up leaving, his wife, his child and the mansion.
Lennon was suffering classic LMS. But what could he try? He'd already achieved something big. He'd already climbed his Mt Everest. Lennon starting sinking into a depression of sorts. Friends started to get him out and about. He started attending art galleries. Searching. He started taking some drugs, like marijuana and LSD which helped to distract him, and tranquilize him somewhat. Christians would say that he definitely needed rescuing by the Holy Spirit. However he rejected that. Looking for a form of secular satisfaction, or a connection with Love that wasn't of the Christian or Spiritual type. Then he met Yoko Ono and reports have shown that she allegedly introduced into his life a stronger drug. Something stronger than sex that kept him distracted and genuinely interest in continuing. Heroin. I've read reports from heroin users who say that it brings a short term level of satisfaction and contentment "1000 times better than sex". I suspect that it was this illegal drug that bought Lennon years of survival, without getting completely depressed or suicidal, or violent. A stronger drug than sex saved him from the meaningless abyss he was contemplating after having achieved pop stardom. Again, another irony. This drug...and not "love" that he paid lip service to...was probably the stuff that saved his life. Lennon might have sung about "love", (i.e 'All You Need is Love' and 'The End') But this was about female True Love. There was never a God mentioned in his lyrics. In fact he wrote a song called "God" and said he didn't believe in Jesus. He said he only believed in himself and reality. I'm not suggesting that males consider becoming junkies on dangerous drugs like heroin. However it gives food for thought, a prescribed safe and workable 'addiction substitute', for males as a remedy for what I imagine is being misdiagnosed as depression in many cases, when its LMS.
6. Addiction Counselling
This is one of the coping mechanisms I discuss later. Males have to decide whether they are Hunters or Family Men.
A Hunter is only really interested in sex. And that means sex with lots of different females at different times over the ensuing years. They do not want to settle down with one. They want to be "free" but they don't want to be made to feel Guilty. There is probably no point a genuine Hunter, still in their early 20s, trying to live up to being a Family Man. I think some younger males need to make some practical decisions and act accordingly. Either be a Hunter 100pc, or a Family Man 100pc...not some trouble making mix. However there comes a point when the Hunter has to draw a line and become a Family Man before its too late. For these males its critical that they enjoyed a good hunting period that they can reflect on. However like any true addict, i.e an alcoholic for example, its not as easy to kick the habit. In our Hunter's case this would be the "freedom habit." For this reason specialist groups like Sexaholics Anonymous can help. And just like an alcoholic the Hunter has to remove potential stimulus and surround himself with people and conversations that reinforce these new family values, avoiding foreign sex stimulus.
The Family Man is a male who seriously only wants the one female and wants to start a Family, almost immediately. Importantly he doesn't have a classic sex-hunt addiction. This addiction is either "naturally" excluded with his personality type, diminished through old age, or forced into the background via psychological or religious "treatment."
7. Tying yourself to the mast
This is a follow on from Point 6. Hunter males, deciding to become Family Men, have to put in a plan of action. A sort of survival strategy. I have taken the concept from the epic poem The Oyssey by Homer (850BC). The Hunter has to battle his lusts like Ulysses battling the sirens. In Ulysses case he knew he couldn't battle the temptation so he had his sailors tie him to the ship's mast and then fill their ears with wax so they couldn't hear the bewitching siren's song or Ulysses screams and orders, no doubt. See Fig 2
Fig 2 ULYSSES AND THE SIRENS (1909) Herbert James Draper
As the legend describes it, Odysseus, the Greek king of Ithaca, was warned by the female goddess, Circe, about the female sirens who existed near a certain cluster of islands. In Greek mythology the sirens were female creatures which lured male sailors onto the rocks with their enchanting music and voices.
Using this mythology the idea here is that at some stage a Hunter male has to draw the line and try to live up to being a family man. Despite a lengthy "freedom period" many Hunters must realise that they're never going to change. They would ideally love to have the best of both worlds--to go out and hunt fresh Pussy and then returning home to a warm bed, loving and contented wife. Secure and happy children. This scenario in theory may be possible. But in reality, generally, it is impossible. Therefore the hunter has to avoid the Pussy by literally "tying himself to the mast" and avoiding temptations until the boat sails through the danger zone, which probably means until he gets old. Very old.
I think LMS is one of the four pillars that cause chaos and destruction on Earth. These 4 pillars are Overpopulation, a dominant Capitalist system, LMS, and Sex-Hunt Addiction.
Why is this LMS within so many males? One would think that humans are supposed to be a social and co-operative creatures. Yet LMS is a potentially destructive force, an anti-social phenomenon. And its not the males' fault. They were born that way. They didn't ask for it and it doesn't matter whether you're hard working, virtuous or lazy; rich or poor. It challenges a lot of males. Therefore in the secular Judicial system, value should be attributed to the male battling his impulses, ultimately for the benefit of Society, in maintaining a family commitment, when otherwise he would prefer to be "free."
The sex- freedom sacrifice of these men should be clinically viewed and assigned a genuine secular "value", (a Utility value) calculated as part of a compensation package if the fruits of this sacrifice, (i.e his family) were being brought to an abrupt close by the another (i.e. wife), through no genuine "moral" fault, and entirely on her whim.